You would’ve thought that once you’ve loved someone for over a year, been in a relationship with them for 10 months, broken up with them twice, been cheated on, been lied to and messed around countless times, that you would be beginning to get over them. I wish I could get over him. Even though I know I’m being stupid, clinging on to a tiny bit of hope that he’s changed and loves me as much as he says he does, I can’t help not letting go. 

I wish it was as easy as people who have never been in love think, where you cry for a few days and then open your eyes to how beautiful life is without that person. But it’s nothing like that in real life. These people all spout quotations like “never give up something that made you smile.” He made me smile. Yes, he made me cry a hell of a lot too, but he made me smile too. I wish I could get over him and see how beautiful life is without him, but at the moment to me, life is grey and boring and without any colour or excitement or passion.